In my past, I was in love with love. I loved the way that I felt when I was in love, with no question in my mind as to why or what that meant. I assumed that the person I loved was the cause of all of the keen, sometimes almost painful awareness of beauty in everything that I was experiencing. That person appreciated and valued me, therefore I felt more beautiful, lovable and loving.
Now I know that it is not the person I love that causes me to feel that exhilarating glow, or the magnificent sense of wellbeing. He is not the source of the energized life that I experience. Rather, my love has awakened something in me that I have forgotten, or that I never clearly saw as my own. My beloved has held a mirror before me, reflecting back to me my own hidden beauty and nature. This hidden inner beauty is pure love "the love that knows no limit" and it is this that brings forth the ecstatic awareness of the preciousness of life in and around me.
Being in love is reclaiming and living the hidden beauty that is ours, always. This is truly the greatest gift that we can give to ourselves and to the world around us. To sustain that awareness of our true nature over a long period of time is one of our greatest challenges. We tend to become bogged down in the incredibly powerful and limited consciousness that surrounds us.
It has taken many years, many tears and much confusion for me to understand this for myself. Certainly, I did not learn this without a great deal of self-examination and soul searching. I have also had the most beloved team of Spirit Teachers to walk me through each step, constantly communicating reminders of the meaning and importance of my experiences, no matter how hesitant or resistant I was at times. Although I still find challenges in living this truth, I do know that this is true, and that every relationship of any kind that I have experienced has brought its gifts to me-even those that did not ultimately remain in my life.
My Spirit Teachers have repeatedly reminded me that our first and most important responsibility in any relationship is to clearly reflect what that person is projecting to us. This is one of the most difficult tasks that we can undertake. It is also one of the greatest achievements that we can hope to claim in our human lives.
As we live together or interact on a constant basis, we begin to notice things in our mate that we did not see earlier. Sometimes those things do not please us. We find it difficult not to become judgmental, often feeling resentment and blame toward the one who has disappointed us. We also begin to exhibit behaviors of our own that are not loving or gentle. When we fall into judgment of our beloved and ourselves we lose that magical lightness and joy of being together. This is confusing. This was not what we expected. We want so much for our relationship with our beloved to be always beautiful, unchallenged and easy. We want our love to be all that is needed in order to cause this to be so, and, ultimately, it is all that we need. But we generally slip back into an overriding focus on our beliefs about ourselves and our lives. We lose the expanded focus that has given us the freedom to experience the ultimate happiness of being mates.
Usually when this happens we fear that something is wrong with the relationship. Perhaps we have made a mistake. We tend to desire that our loved one will change for our sake, or maybe we can change to make things beautiful again. It is this very confusion about what is happening that often derails us. If we can understand the dynamics of this relationship, we can then recognize what these changes are showing us and learn from them.
In truth, we choose each other for the opportunity to see ourselves clearly. We long to remember who we are and why we have chosen to be here. We trust this soul to help us to rediscover our own true essence. We trust that together we are capable of effectively walking this path of mutual self-discovery. We want to relate with absolute love and gentleness, to be totally supportive and without reservation or judgment in our appreciation for our mate. And we long for the same from our beloved.
The Brotherhood tell me constantly that we already are all that we can ever be. Our task here is to remember who and what we are and to walk the face of the earth fully conscious of our whole being physical, mental emotional and spiritual.
I have asked for counsel many, many times regarding the seeming difficulties of relating closely in our current level of awareness. Following is an excerpt from one of my communications with the Brotherhood regarding our longing for a mate.
Humans in your world tend to see yourselves as separate and apart from the rest of life. Thus, you search for one who can fill a void in your heart and soul. You generally look for particular personality traits, physical traits, beliefs, etc. You believe that these are the gifts that a mate can bring to a relationship gifts that will make you happy and content.
This is a result of the perceptions and beliefs that are carried by humans all around you. You are constantly bombarded with how to and what to look for. In no way do we criticize or discount this. However, there is so very much more, and our wish is to assist you in understanding the true dynamics of a relationship between mates. Obviously, desirable traits are invaluable. However, only when you understand what it really is that you are so in love with, will you know how to become together what you all hunger to know in your daily life.
First and forever, you are each a unique physical out-picturing of the Essence of Life "Spirit" however you wish to label that which is the creator and the ongoing life of your being. The you that sees through your human eyes is that essence. The eyes, themselves, are a physical form of that essence. When you look at another human, you respond not only to the physical image; much more, you respond energetically to the energies that are projected to you from that soul. You know instantly on a soul level who that soul is and what your history together involves. You see eyes that either draw you to that person or cause you to move away. You feel a sense of interest and a desire to learn more about this person, or you feel no special desire to interact with him or her. The key word here is feel.
What we wish to remind you of is that what you feel is in direct response to what you know. Pay attention. Open your mind and recognize what it is that you remember. Trust yourself. Trust that part of your being that is truly all knowing. Remember to honor that awareness that is always within you, and call it forth for your use in every aspect of your life. There is no lack in you. There is only that which is divine intent, calling into expression exactly who you are. There is only the choice to be in your human form for the purpose of experiencing your domain right now.
Love others, but first love yourself. It is in total love for the whole self that you discover the magnificence that you hold within you. And then you are a fountain of joy and wisdom for all who come into your life. You literally overflow with love and freedom from judgment for yourself and for those around you. When you are in this state, you cannot but be beloved and honored, and you cannot fail to see the beauty in all that is around you. This is truly your goal.
And so it is.
Norma Dillingham began communicating with other dimensions of reality in 1975, six years after her husband passed away. His death awakened an overwhelming need to understand the meaning and the purpose of our lives and our relationships, as well as what happens when we leave our bodies to move into other experiences in the after-life.
In 1983, Norma began to receive guidance and counsel from The Brotherhood and Sisterhood of Light (most often simply called The Brotherhood for the sake of brevity.) These helpers identify themselves as a group consciousness from throughout creation that includes the Great Teachers of Earth and from many other realms. Their guidance is unfailingly loving, non-judgmental and uplifting.
For many years, Norma has worked with others who seek greater clarity and self-realization. This includes sessions in which Norma guides those who wish to tune in to their own inner guidance (which resides in every one of us) as well as sessions involving question-and-answer interaction with The Brotherhood and Sisterhood of Light.